The Hardest Part
I pulled into my driveway and sat in the car with the windows down for a few minutes listening to the birds sing.
I know I'm stalling, but I really don't want to walk through that front door now.
"Honey, your unemployed fiance is home!"
I sit for a few minutes, gather my thoughts, take a deep breath and go for it. I decide to leave the boxes in the car for now and just go in with my bag.
By the time I'm through the front door, she's coming around the corner from another room. I just say, "Well, I got it. I'm done." She gives me a hug and tells me everything will be okay.
She returns to assembling a real estate presentation on the dining room table. I get a cold drink and sit down. My throat is still dry. She doesn't say much, but I can tell by the way her hands are moving she's nervous. I tell her the details as she's keeping herself occupied.
This wasn't as emotional as I thought it would be. But now, I have to call my parents.
My father answers the phone and the words immediately stick in my throat and my voice cracks. I feel like my adam's apple has been replaced by a jumbo-sized green apple. I gather myself quickly and tell him that I was "let go." (It sounds so much nicer than "fired.")
My father is a calm man, but I can tell he's a bit hyped up. He tells me not to worry and not to rush into anything, the family is behind me, and other reassurances. Again, I go through all the details and he asks a lot of questions. My mother wasn't home, but he promises to tell her when she gets home. He also tells me that she probably won't take this calmly and she'll call me later once she's had a chance to cool down. My mother's first reaction to a bad situation is to get angry and attack the party that has aggrieved her loved one. An understandable and admirable trait, but not exactly soothing.
My fiance has to go to a meeting now, so I'll have an hour or two alone in the house.
I sit in my favorite chair and punch up an episode of Gunsmoke that was saved on the Tivo. My mind is swimming now... hopefully this will comfort. Marshal Dillon will be tested, but he will certainly prevail by the end of the episode.
I know I'm stalling, but I really don't want to walk through that front door now.
"Honey, your unemployed fiance is home!"
I sit for a few minutes, gather my thoughts, take a deep breath and go for it. I decide to leave the boxes in the car for now and just go in with my bag.
By the time I'm through the front door, she's coming around the corner from another room. I just say, "Well, I got it. I'm done." She gives me a hug and tells me everything will be okay.
She returns to assembling a real estate presentation on the dining room table. I get a cold drink and sit down. My throat is still dry. She doesn't say much, but I can tell by the way her hands are moving she's nervous. I tell her the details as she's keeping herself occupied.
This wasn't as emotional as I thought it would be. But now, I have to call my parents.
My father answers the phone and the words immediately stick in my throat and my voice cracks. I feel like my adam's apple has been replaced by a jumbo-sized green apple. I gather myself quickly and tell him that I was "let go." (It sounds so much nicer than "fired.")
My father is a calm man, but I can tell he's a bit hyped up. He tells me not to worry and not to rush into anything, the family is behind me, and other reassurances. Again, I go through all the details and he asks a lot of questions. My mother wasn't home, but he promises to tell her when she gets home. He also tells me that she probably won't take this calmly and she'll call me later once she's had a chance to cool down. My mother's first reaction to a bad situation is to get angry and attack the party that has aggrieved her loved one. An understandable and admirable trait, but not exactly soothing.
My fiance has to go to a meeting now, so I'll have an hour or two alone in the house.
I sit in my favorite chair and punch up an episode of Gunsmoke that was saved on the Tivo. My mind is swimming now... hopefully this will comfort. Marshal Dillon will be tested, but he will certainly prevail by the end of the episode.
posted by Steve at 4:09 PM
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